Marc Alan Holmes, Word Sleuth
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WordSleuth has proven himself ace at pumping out material for big names like Jay Leno.  I'm also sensational at noshing on complicated topics with those hailing from the pocket-protector tribes.  It's with no disgrace WordSleuth admits owning not one, but two pairs of spectacles held together with tape.  But, unlike those guys, I don't actually wear them in public.

WordSleuth's incomparable ability to look at your project from every conceivable angle makes him the choice for your next copywriting assignment.  I can take the most Sahara-like topic and communicate it effectively to your intended audience with verve and elan.  And those two aren't my only helpers. 

(And if what you need written is already jumping with excitement, you're going to need a sedative after I'm done with it.)

WordSleuth's Famous Cases
are divided into three parts:

  1. Things WordSleuth wrote in a Funny Vein. 
  2. Things WordSleuth wrote in a Literary/Journalistic Vein. 
  3. Things WordSleuth wrote in a Corporate Vein. 

(Couple thousand more veins and we'll have a complete vascular system--Go ahead, look it up in Gray's Anatomy, I dare you.) >>>

Funny Vein

  • "The Chevy Chase Show" (television comedy) Thankfully, I didn't write enough material to be even a teensy part of why that show was so awful.
  • Gag Rag (radio/television personality humor resource) No feeling in the world like driving cross-country and hearing your material mutilated by no-talent radio jocks in 21 different states.
  • "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" (television and standup comedy) Just some guy I helped for five years. 
  • Miss Joan Rivers (television and standup comedy) Can we talk?  Once took me six months to get thirty bucks out of her.
  • "Late Show with David Letterman" (television comedy) He looked at my stuff several times.  But it turns out he thinks handing out pork products to audience members is high camp.
  • "Night Shift with Kevin Ferguson" (television comedy/variety show) Too nice a guy to last in shoe bidness, wonder what ever happened to him?               >>>

Stuffed Shirt Disclaimer

To those who might say a copywriter should have a more staid, business-like web site, I say Pluuuuhhhhhhhssssssss!!! (Do a Bronx raspberry here.)

Remember this: "Watching your ad die is easy, bringing 'em in with humor is hard."

But, hey, if you really have an uncontrollable hankering for boring copywriting sites, head on over to www.listlesscopy.com and www.lookatmyimpressiveclientlist.com and don't forget the always popular www.tediouswriting.com

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Literary/
Journalistic Vein

  • Los Angeles Times (columnist) Big-time rag.
  • San Francisco Chronicle (columnist) Moderately big-time rag.
  • Utah Business Magazine (columnist) How-to writing columns for business types.
  • The Event Magazine (columnist) Small-time rag.
  • Mavety Media Group, Ltd. (worldwide magazine group) More than forty, count 'em, forty, magazine articles appearing in publications worldwide.  And my sixth grade teacher said I'd never be able to construct a coherent sentence, hah! >>>
     

Corporate Vein

  • American Plasma Management (plasmapheresis/blood products) Heaven forbid you ever need plasma in your life, because it probably came from a guy who hasn't been sober since JFK was bouncing Marilyn Monroe and John-John on his knee.
  • Ford Motor Company (consumer appeals board) Won the client a brand spanking new car.
  • First Aid Consultants (national first aid training company) Only thing more scary than how much saliva's in a human being is how much there is in a Resusci-Annie dummy.
  • Irrigation Retention Systems, I.R.S. (medical products) This was a very taxing assignment.
  • Tri-S Ready Mix (cement and building products) Only thing sexy about cement is dem handsome fellas who drive the trucks.
  • United States Postal Service (merit systems protection board) Saved another good man from "going postal."
  • University of Utah School of Medicine (promotional products) Skeleton T-shirts inscribed with "Bone, James Bone" and the like.
  • United States Army Special Forces (medical training materials) And yes, they do all walk and talk like John Wayne.
  • Utah American Steel (structural steel products) Insert your favorite Bruce Springsteen/steel town joke here.
  • Veteran's Administration Hospital Animal Research Facility (snake venom research) You haven't lived until fifteen feet of irate King Cobra backs you into a corner.
  • Veteran's Administration Hospital (nuclear medicine) Patients fall down, go boom! (Okay, not my best line).

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